I would just like to say that you guys have been awesome. I really did not anticipate how much comfort I would get from everyone. And you're all right--he's a dick. Thank you for acknowledging that and adding your own colorful terminology.
Upon further consideration, I am even more certain that he is a dick.
Evidence (verified by e-mails):
October 1st--Initial breakup. Boo. Sad girl MeMe. Yet, 'twas for the best, no?
October 19th--Discussion about getting back together. Declaration of devotion. Actual quotes:
"I highly doubt I'll be dating anytime soon. I can't even think of being with anyone but you. I might have to make some new friends so that I have someone to hang out with other than THIS GUY (ugh) or THE OTHER ONE (ugh), but dating...I don't think so."
"I would love to have the chance to prove that I'm still crazy about you. I am."
"There's something potentially amazing here. I think we just have to get to a point where we can trust each other, and know that we won't lose each other again."
Oh good. I was just getting to that point right around---
Halloween: picture post of new chick who was clearly into him. Not sure of exact date, but safe to say October 31st at latest (suspicion of 27th or 28th as the 31st was a Wednesday).
My first blog post: November 2nd.
He also mentioned he had met her on OKC. So for this to work out, he would have had to have had an ad out well before my blog began. Also possibly even earlier than I'd like to consider, because to me meeting someone at a Halloween party isn't a first date kind of thing.
But I won't read too much into that one. It makes my brain (ego) way too bruised.
November 6th: E-mail fight about the blog.
So theoretically at some point between the 2nd and the 6th he showed her my blog. Why he thought that was a good idea, I don't know. But I'm not taking blame for that one.
Don't show your date the blog your ex wrote about you, and then email your ex to stop writing mean things.
Or... OR... email her something really nice and hope she adds what a great ex boyfriend you are? DEVIOUS! You crafty bastard.
Either way, I'm definitely realizing I got screwed here. Fed a lot of lines during a relationship, made to feel special, treated really well at first... and all of that tided me over, while I was frustrated and lonely, and I felt obligated to hang around because he had been so nice in the beginning, after all, so why was I being such a needy biatch?
Annnnnd any potential guilt over blogging on my dates has dissipated.
What I have learned from this unfortunate experience:
1) Nice guys may seem really nice, but they may not be. They may be very nice at first and cash in on that niceness later, when they're being utter douchebags and gaslighting you. Don't be fooled. If you're not happy, it's not your "fault." If you're not happy, then something just isn't working.
2) Unfortunately this does not seem to be the case with jerks, wherein they seem really jerky, but actually they're just misunderstood and really rescue old ladies from purse jackers and have a three-legged dog and suddenly your life is a Nicholas Sparks novel. They may seem like a jerk but they are probably just a huge fucking jerk.
3) Also, this happens to lots of people. Like, tons. I've commiserated with quite a few of you since this event, and now I realize that people are actually awful, and honestly, I could have had it much worse. But I am reminded why I avoid dating. And friendships. And human beings in general.
My cats will never leave me.
Note: I am certainly not turning into a man-hater now.
Well, maybe temporarily. Once a month it's to be expected anyway; this just piggybacks on the Red Days.
I have also realized that I have some excellent guy friends out there who really are those nice guys that stay nice forever. And I am much more appreciative of them and all their goodness, and I am very happy for their ladies or future ladies.
So, in conclusion, the girl things are done--the call your best friend, call your mom, cry in the shower things--and I feel better. Better, largely, because I did the maths and I was clearly the injured party here so don't GIVE me that crap about how you're just doing what I was doing. I ain't no saint but I WIN THIS ONE SUCKER.
Better because I know that there are nice boys and kind men out there....
...and I'll be very happy to have them come visit me in my house full of stray cats, because right now, that's looking like the best option here.
I have had some very interested parties eagerly awaiting the end of my finals, that they may buy me a beer and celebrate with me.
Why waste free drinks?